Death Sled From "the bay"

It says "Caddy Up" on the downtube. At least that's what everyone tells me. All I can see is "Death Sled"!
Guitar Ted Productions

Oooohhh yeeeeaaaah! This gem has caused much head wagging at Europa Cycle and Ski. Thanks to that on-line market place, you know.... "the bay"! We have this to terrorize the bike paths 'round here. I wish you all could see this close up, because just about every part is so lame, so utterly useless, that even though this is a new bicycle, it is worthless! I'll just pick on one of the many glaring faults. (This is just too easy!) The linear pull brakes are comprised mostly of plastic! Yes, plastic! Stop a moment and think of it. Approximately 350-450 "el-bees" comin' atcha down the bike path, with only two sets of mostly plastic linear pull brakes between you and certain death! I'm not wanting to be there! Who thinks up these rigs? Have they ever heard the term "product liability"? Do they even have a brain?

Well, my only hope is that the owners realize what a crappy ride this is, park it in the deepest bowels of their garage, and forget about it. Just imagine, in 2075 a guy comes into a bike shop. He says, "Hey, check out this really old tandem I just picked up at an estate sale. How much do you guys think it's worth?" Yeah, just imagine it!