Trans Iowa Stories: Two To Go

The leaders of T.I.v8 not far past Checkpoint Alpha.

"Trans Iowa Stories" is an every Sunday post which helps tell the stories behind the event. You can check out other posts about this subject by going back to earlier Sunday posts on this blog. Thanks and enjoy! 

With the success of Trans Iowa v8 in the rear view mirror, I had focused upon the next Trans Iowa. In fact, I already knew before T.I.v8 that there would be a Trans Iowa v9, and not only that, a v10. How? Most of the time all anyone ever heard from me was that Trans Iowa could end at any time. While I always held out that possibility for the event I now had a solid goal.

Since v8 was such a success, and since it solved issues for me with repeatable processes, I now could seriously entertain those thoughts I had going all the way back to T.I.v5 about getting to ten events and then getting out. See, I knew it would be only a matter of time before something bad could happen to someone that might turn ugly. I never was much on math, but the theory of probabilities was a vaguely familiar idea to me. The longer the thing went on, the higher the probabilities were going to be that something would go very wrong. That's where my head was at.

Trans Iowa was a huge risk for me personally. Just think about how things could have went pear-shaped had someone been seriously injured, or worse, died. This was always on my mind. This is why I was horrified when cues weren't done, or when they were bad. This is why I was so upset when I found bits of the course that I had not reconned were putting riders at unnecessary risk, as in T.I.v7. I would literally lay in bed at night awake for hours thinking through how I could do things to help prevent this from happening.

And then there was putting on the event itself. Which at times was fun, and at times I was too busy to notice, but many times there were moments when I was sitting on pins and needles wondering what was going on, (like when Charlie Farrow went missing in v8), or when it was dark, cold, and I was wondering why the leaders weren't where I thought that they should be at a certain time. The sudden rise in heart rate every time the cell phone went off, only to find out it was someone wondering where their boyfriend or husband was at. I apologize if I came off somewhat coldly, but please understand, I was struggling with my own demons out there too.

If it weren't for many people, like the Slender Fungus, shown here, I wouldn't have kept going.

There were the people who 'just didn't get it' that pestered me with inane questions, there were those who thought my rules and processes were untenable and wanted me to modify things, and the grind just to get certain things done with the event that were burdensome. Tying together all the logistics, getting processes in place every year, and then there were the all important cue sheets and course finding. Every year..... I told people that Trans Iowa was literally a ten month to twelve month undertaking for me. It was never far from front and center in my mind all Summer, and of course, after I announced another one coming up, things ramped up for months until the climax of another version of Trans Iowa was to set me off on another sleepless weekend.

Don't hear all this as complaining because I loved putting on Trans Iowa. I just had this other, darker side which was tearing at me all those years as well. I often was torn in two by this. The love and the fear. It was very difficult at times, and I am not doing well here trying to describe this. But just know that I knew I could not continue Trans Iowa indefinitely. I've quoted this before, but this seems like a good time to remind you of some sage observations Charlie Farrow had post Trans Iowa v5:

"My message to all those that did not finish, for what itz worth, is to go for it again next year, but with an eye on using all that is given to you. One reason to make another attempt next year stems from the simple fact that guyz like Guitar-Ted and D.P. are a rare treasure to the cycling community and consequently, certainly, it would be unfair to simply assume that they will indefinitely be willing or even capable of providing us with this truly novel cycling experience year after year."

Note: emphasis mine

Charlie 'understood' and while I have never confirmed this with him, I am quite certain, based upon the above quote, that he knew this event's days were numbered just from his keen awareness and observations while at Trans Iowa. He could feel that which I am trying to articulate above. He knew instinctively that the joy of giving would someday be quenched by the darkness of fear and the weariness of worry. I am sure many Trans Iowa participants also felt that vibe also. 

This is why I set a decade of this nonsense as a limit. I figured after Trans Iowa v8 that I had at least two more of these in me. I could do what I had done for v8 more easily now. I had more people drawing up alongside of me, willing to share the load. I could lean on that resource to help me weather two more Trans Iowas. Yes. I could do two more. 

But that was it. After v10, my intention was to just walk away and never look back. 

Next: I take a quick look at volunteers of Trans Iowa and how I managed that part of the event.