There is really no way to tell you how I am other than to state the facts. I miss Jacob. I struggle at times. Lately I have been encouraged by having days when I don't cry. Sometimes two in a row, but this is rare. I find I am most prone to being sad and feel deep grief when I am alone. So, I try not to be alone. But this isn't always possible. Ironically, I am fine if I am riding a bicycle alone. Mostly.....
This leads me to my second, and most important point for me today and that is to acknowledge those of you who have taken on the task of being someone who checks in with me on a somewhat regular basis. There are several of you who have been doing this, and let me tell you - it means a LOT to me that you are doing this. I was contacted by phone or via messages by three different people on Saturday, when my wife and daughter were out of town. These folks did not know I was alone, but I needed those calls and messages. Thank you for those.
It is but one example of how these people, and others, who are sending messages and calls are so encouraging and timely for myself. But I also need to acknowledge others here. You folks who pray, think about me, or will in the future. I "feel" this as well. Thank you for your thoughts and prayers. Yes....it matters.
Finally, I want to encourage all of you. You may be reading this with a bit of detachment. This maybe seems unreal to you, or so unneeded in your life right now that the significance of a call, text, or prayer are lost on you. Can I encourage you and say you may want to just reach out to someone who has been on your mind? There is a reason for this, and maybe you will be that person who calls or messages just at the right time. You'll never know unless you take a chance....
And you also never know if you'll be the one, who like me, really needs those encouragements someday. Thank you for reading this. I hope you find some things here to think about and take action on, not for me, necessarily, but for all of us. We need each other.
Back to more bicycle stuff tomorrow.
In the digital world we now find ourselves in, analog communication is falling off. We see what people post on FB or IG or X and we tend to assume that all is well with others because that is what they often post, so that is what we see. There is a disconnect there often times between social media interaction and actual personal, heartfelt communication; they are not the same but we often substitute one for another. I don't think this is always on purpose, I sometimes feel like having a front row seat to everyone's lives can burn us out on the true "socialization" it takes to build and keep friendships. I cannot pretend to imagine what you and the family are going through but know that you all are always in our thoughts, even if I forget to reach out in a more personal way than a comment on a FB post or a blog post.
ReplyDelete@Rydn9ers - Thank you.
DeleteI guess you are right in that no one really is wired to have hundreds of "friends" on social media and I agree the investment into a personal relationship can be taxing on one's energy. Some folks can handle many intense personal relationships while others maybe can only deal with a few, or even just one.
And our lifestyles are typically not geared to be based on relationships in this modern world, so my post today was an effort to acknowledge some who have bucked the trend and communicated with me motivated by care and concern.
I in no way was fishing for attention or laying a guilt trip on anyone. In fact, I almost did not write this post out of fear it might be taken by others to be something like that. I'm not saying your comment is a reflection on this sort of sentiment, but it did make me think about this again.
Cheers!
Maybe the COG 40 is a good distraction, bikes and people. I just know from my end I try to spend our time trying to be status quo. I know it may not be ideal, but I know when my mom passed, it was nice not having to rehash it every minute.
ReplyDelete@N.Y. Roll - Thank you for being a friend. Before and after all of this.
DeleteMost days, I view our friendship as you being the rock and me running around with scissors and paint brushes.
DeleteGT - I can't imagine what you are going through. I appreciate your candor in updating those of us who only know you electronically. It is great to hear that you have a support group looking after you. Peace to you and your family.
ReplyDeleteIt's in the darkest moments when those little glimmers of light are most impactful. Thanks for being you and for letting us be a small part of the process of finding peace with all that has transpired.
ReplyDelete... Love you, Brother.
ReplyDelete@MG - I love you too. Thank you for being there for me.
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