Trans Iowa Stories: Coming To A Head

My mother was sinking into the depths of Alzheimer's by the Summer of '17

 "Trans Iowa Stories" is an every Sunday post which helps tell the stories behind the event. You can check out other posts about this subject  by clicking on the "Trans Iowa Stories" link under the blog header. Thanks and enjoy!  

When Trans Iowa v13 ended I did what I usually did after any Trans Iowa- I ran myself hard. Too hard. Resting? Pfft! It was the beginning of Summer! I had work to do at the bike shop, reviews to write, rides to put on, and resting would just get in the way. Plus, this was how I had always done things. Why change what worked?

Why change indeed! It was not anything I had on my radar right away. Oh, sure! I knew Trans Iowa would end......someday...but not in 2018! Nope. One more year, and that was all I was going to think about. Besides, I was far too busy to think about that. You know..... I'd figure it out and Trans Iowa v14 would happen and then..... Whatever. Maybe then I'd quit. Who knew?

This despite my father-in-law dying in April, two weeks before Trans Iowa. This despite my mother slipping away from us right before our eyes as Alzheimer's stole her away from us. This despite troubles at work which were bringing more stress. This despite my daughter and son graduating from high school in a couple years. My health wasn't the greatest either. I had not been staying on top of that, and changes needed to be made. But, ya know.....I was busy. 

I hosted and ran an event two weeks after T.I.v13 and another in July.

I decided to do another Trans Iowa. I guess it was because one day I was looking at the maps again and I saw the little village of Hartwick, Iowa. It struck me that it was odd that I had not already used that village for something. It was perfectly placed for a checkpoint #1, so I started playing around with that idea and quickly came up with a route I'd mostly never used before. That in itself was amazing, since I'd already used most routes out of Grinnell at one time or another. 

So, there I was, a beginning and I figured the rest would come easily. It almost always did. Then something I did not expect happened. But by that point, my earlier enthusiasm had already prompted me to announce Trans Iowa v14. Getting a bad case of 'writer's block' in terms of course finding and design right afterward was a huge problem. 

Not only was I having a really difficult time focusing on a route, what made matters worse was that I just did not want to do it. I went from the usual excitement and thrill of designing a new course to just dreading even thinking about it. September brought a new issue to my life as well. That was in terms of my work. Normally such tales are not part of the Trans Iowa story with the exception of the times that Europa Cycle and Ski was a sponsor or a place where Trans Iowa registration occurred. But now I have to say that an issue with work really affected my mood going into a critical phase of doing another Trans Iowa. 

The business wasn't being run well. That's one thing that had always been there, but due to a bustling economy, we carried on- somehow- despite the complete lack of leadership at the helm. Then, after I had taken a week long vacation which I had been promised would be paid time off, I came back to find out I had been stiffed, and, basically, the boss didn't care. This put an unexpected stress on me financially, and now I was more concerned with just getting by than I was doing some frivolous event planning. 

My son's participation in high school football was taking my mind away from Trans Iowa.

Then there was football and I needed to be there for my son. This all started to really put me at odds with doing Trans Iowa at all, but now there was one more thing which was going to make this really tough. My mother's condition was getting really bad. I was dealing with all of that and it finally dawned on me that now was the time. I had to stop doing Trans Iowa, but I had committed to v14 already. So....

I had to follow through. It would be a real struggle, but I was committed to it. Then I had to find an exit strategy for myself. Just walking away at the end, as I tried to do after v10, didn't work so well. No.....this time everyone had to know I was really done. So, seeing as how this was such a big decision, I consulted with four people I wanted opinions from. One, of course, was my wife. That conversation took about five minutes! You can guess what she said, and rightly so. Then there was Matt Gersib, my trusted 'brother', who had become my right-hand man in Trans Iowa. Also, I consulted with Jeremy Fry, my partner in route finding and cue sheet production. Finally, I consulted with my partner in Riding Gravel, Ben Welnak, for his more "outside" perspective.  

I received great advice, and support, which was really refreshing. With all of that a tentative plan was made to end Trans Iowa after v14, but to somehow let everyone know that "this was it" and there was no going back on the decision. Everyone was sworn to silence. I didn't worry, because I knew I could trust these people. 

It may seem silly, but breaking my camera in November '17 just added to my stress levels.

Now, due to that decision and how it affected people and whatnot, this Trans Iowa was going to be quite a different affair. And there was the struggle with what I wanted for Trans Iowa and what the gravel scene was doing. But I'll get to all of that later...... 

Meanwhile there were still all the usual things to get going on. Registration, recon of a course, and getting sponsors and volunteers aligned and accounted for. Oh yeah, the course! I was still in a state of  blockage as late as early October. November went by and I still had nothing but 50 miles or so. By this time I was usually honing things down to mock cues for a recon effort.  I had no idea at all yet exactly what I was going to do. I was terrified.....

So, I took about a week and really concentrated on doing the route design. It was a true struggle, but I ended up with something I could be proud of, and something that would be fitting for a swan song for the event. By the end of the month of November was about when this effort started, but I didn't get a good idea until after a full week into December. Recon, fortunately, happened a couple of weeks later, about a half a week before Christmas. 

But even recon was something of a let down. I was grateful for many things, but I was just going through the motions as well at the same time. Plus, all the hiding of the plans for this to be the last one. It was really a struggle. 

Next: A Different Affair