A Eulogy For Jacob

 

Today, instead of your regular FN&V, I hope you will indulge me in this. I wanted to honor my son, who died in his sleep last Saturday, August 2nd, by sharing the eulogy I wrote for him. Thank you for your consideration and grace in this matter. 

Jacob Isaiah Stevenson

When Phyllis and I were pregnant with Jacob Isaiah Stevenson in late 2002 we were attending a conference at Heartland Vineyard Church. During worship, God impressed upon Phyllis that she should bow down and although she resisted this, eventually she obeyed and then heard in her spirit that the child inside of her was to be named Jacob. Phyllis had already settled on his name being Isaiah, but when this happened, she obeyed and made her choice, his middle name instead.

Jacob was born while I (Mark) was on RAGBRAI working as a mechanic for the riders. He wasn't supposed to be born until August, late in the first week.  But he came early, and I was called at around 5:00am in the morning when Phyllis told me "He is coming now, you need to get home!"

Ever since then Jacob seemingly always had to be early, or first. He wasn't a tiny baby for long, and he grew quickly. As a child he was temperamental. It was apparent to us early on Jacob had a fire inside of him. A passionate fire that was not easily quenched.

Alongside his sister, Izabel, they made quite the pair. Izzy with her quieter, more introspective nature versus Jacob's gregarious, outgoing, wild nature. Their bond grew as they grew, and many times we would stand back and smile as we saw them interact growing up. It was obvious that they loved each other, but - let me tell you - there were days of friction. But overall, they learned to love each other deeply. 

Jacob's first day of school of the 2013/2014 school year.

Jacob was - well....let's be honest here. He was somewhat of a terror at times. Caretakers at the church and throughout his schooling and daycare periods found out that Jacob wasn't suited to sitting still for very long. His make-up was not like many other kids. Jacob also wanted closeness, contact, and he hated being alone as a child. We learned early on that typical discipline measures didn't work as well with him as time alone did. You had to get his attention, and once he understood he couldn't interact with people unless he dialed things back, he was willing to change his course.

My cousin, Dave Houdek, shared this early remembrance of Jacob with me "...the first time I met Jacob. he was around 3 or 4 years old and you guys were at my parents’ house (for Thanksgiving) Jacob was running around the house like a wild man trying to tackle me,. Your Mom (Jacob's grandmother) looked at me with a big smile and said, "That's Jacob!". Yes....yes, that was Jacob in his early years! He was running around like he was on fire almost all the time. 

Jacob photobombing a family picture of friends of ours.

This characteristic of Jacob was due to his passion for people and relationships. We learned he loved deeply, and he hurt deeply when his peers did not respond to him in kind. Jacob did not have many friends growing up, and it wasn't until he started playing football in middle school that he started to connect with others his age. I think it is important to note here that without the Holy Spirit working in us as parents and within our church family that Jacob may not have grown into what he became. He had critical points during his elementary years where teachers, like Jamie Oberheu, made a big impact on Jacob's development. There were some very difficult times for Jacob in his elementary years and early in middle school. But by the grace of God, he was delivered through it all.

Being in the football program and his involvement in Heartland Vineyard's Youth Group made a huge impact upon Jacob. At a special service, around 2011, Heartland Vineyard had an evangelistic weightlifting crew come in to demonstrate feats of strength and share the Gospel. A call went out for those in the congregation to accept Christ as their savior. Jacob responded to the call. So, thanks to Jesus and the willingness of the church to provide that opportunity which assured Jacob a place in God's kingdom.

Youth group was a highlight of the week for Jacob. He was tabbed as the person to run the snack sales. Youth attending soon found out there were no freebies, no stealing, and if they tried, Jacob wasn't having any of it. This did not surprise Phyllis and I, as we had noted a strong sense of justice and fairness within Jacob at an early age. Jacob detested cheating, stealing, and any attempts at shirking your obligations. Josh Paxton, pastor at the time of Jacob's service in Youth Group, shared a story of Jacob concerning this trait of his.

Jacob apparently was made aware that Josh's son, Cooper Paxton had not paid for his snack. The youth were gathered in the sanctuary for worship and teaching when Jacob marched in, confronted Cooper and was about to drag him out to have him pay when Cooper’s mother, Stephanie Paxton explained to Jacob she had paid for Cooper’s snack in advance. Michael Reed, our current pastor, told us that the snack sales were never really under control until Jacob oversaw them.

This sense of justice and fairness only grew stronger with Jacob as he matured. It impacted a lot of people along the way. His head football coach at West High, Lonnie Moore had this to say about the impact Jacob had. 

Jacob graduated from high school in 2021

"Jacob was a special young man who made a lasting impact on our team and on me personally. He brought a strong work ethic, and a great attitude every time he stepped on the field. His presence will truly be missed, not just as a player, but as a part of our football family"

Jacob also made an impact on those he was involved in Chorus with at West High. During can drives and at practices, Jacob influenced many of his peers. We know this from the several messages we have received since Jacob's death. Jacob loved singing, and he continued to sing even after high school. We were "blessed" to hear his voice singing along to various favorite hard core, dub step, techno, Christian, and heavy metal songs he liked, along with other tunes by various artists. Jacob loved music and had a wide-ranging playlist on his phone. He often shared his favorites with us.

Jacob was a dedicated employee at his first job st the Isle Casino where he was a security guard. He moved on from there to Criterion Manufacturing after his graduation from Hawkeye Tech, where he earned his CNC machining/ tool and die certificate He was drawn to working in metal from a class at the Waterloo Career Center and decided to go to Hawkeye Tech based heavily upon the fact that Chad Smith, was an instructor at the program. Chad had a major influence on Jacob and was a big help in Jacob's success in school and in his work.

I know most of you who knew Jacob will remember him for his hugs. Big, crushing hugs, which at times felt like your atoms were being fused with his. He learned to dial this back for many of you, which is probably a good thing!

But can I tell you about a side of Jacob you may not have been aware of? While he turned out to be a big, imposing figure at 6' 3" and nearly 400lbs, he was never afraid to show his heart to those he loved. His passion for his family and friends was truly palpable.

But what I feel best exemplifies his heart, to me at any rate, was that Jacob was never afraid to reach out and hold my hand. In fact, he did this regularly, in casual situations and even in public. We took a walk around the graveyard near my home recently when he reached out and held my hand for several minutes. He never said a word when he did this, but we would meet eyes, and I knew we shared a deep love for each other.

He had that same heart for many of you. This is what we will miss the most about Jacob. However, I am proud of him. He came into adulthood as an exemplary human being, not because we were great parents, but by the grace of God. And in a typical Jacob way, he was first again. He made it into the loving arms of his Father first before us.

Quotes:

“The power of one man doesn’t amount to much. But, however little strength I’m capable of…. I’ll do everything humanly possible to protect the people I love, and in turn they’ll protect the ones they love. It seems like the least we tiny humans can do for each other” – Roy Mustang from “Full Metal Alchemist”


“On the final day I die, I want to hold my head up high.

I want to tell You that I tried

To live it like a song

And when I reach the other side,

I want to look You in the eye

And know that I’ve arrived

In a world where I belong” – Jon Foreman, Switchfoot


Proverbs 31: v8-9

Speak up for those who cannot speak up for themselves, for the rights of all those who are destitute.

Speak up and judge fairly, defend the rights of the poor and needy.