I've been having a struggle lately that some of you might just be able to relate to. Speeding. Yep! Things going too fast........waaay too fast! (And you thought I was talkin' about cars!) Nah, just the speed of life, you know.........it's spring, you get busy........hey! It's fall again already! Where did the time go?
So, I was contemplating all of this when it occurred to me. Maybe the reason I'm getting excited about this 200 mile torture rack called Dirty Kanza is because I know that things will slow down a bit. They will slow down too much, probably. The moments of head wind and hill climb, over and over again, will become so focused and seem so long. It will drive away all else and become a sort of twisted place of peace from all the mayhem of normal life. Life that flashes by and leaves you sucked dry. Like a wrinkled skin of a mouse after a tarantulas feasting. Nothing but an empty sack!
That focused pain. The suffering that is so "loud" and intense that it becomes everything for a moment or two. It's the only thing you've got to overcome. The one thing. Not a million other things like mowing the grass, fixing the window, getting bills paid on time, or worrying about what your spouse might think. No, it's just you and that familiar pain. Can you deal with it now. Just that one thing and that's all that matters. No speeding. Life stands still for one glorious moment.
Is this what it is that makes my mind focus on this event and nothing beyond that? I don't know for sure, but I know why I'll be sad when it's over, whether I finish the course or not.
It'll be as though it went by too fast. Here and gone. Speeding!
River of dreams.
3 days ago